On the cliff, she is standing still. Looking deep, deep down in to her mind. It's empty, emotionless. She looks around hopelessly, first down and then up, in the sky, it's clear just like her own self. She can hear humming birds, see the mountains but could feel nothing, she is too numb for all that. Life that seemed to be heaven is burning like a hell now, leaving her with only burnmarks.
She walks back fearing she might jump down, smiles with regret for putting herself in to this. Allowing things that she knew could be painful later. But life is about living and not about planning, she consoles herself.
She holds something very tight to her chest, a gift from him. Aaha! I can't jump but this book can... she plays with her emotions..an adult's most favorite game. At least this should comfort her.
She opens the first page and reads through, she can not continue, those lines are his expression.
She closes it back and opens it again, closes it back....
She feels regret, anger, jealousy, revenge; her mind gets occupied with plenty of emotions. Revenge stands out!!
Revenge should do the job. She opens the book and starts tearing pages one after other..
She stops in between. Falls on her knees, hides her face with her palms.
She wants to yell, howl loud, draining down the pain. But she is loving this pain too, it’s so special….. what she should do???
She decides to follow her heart and shouts loud.."I will wait, I will wait Deb. Because I am you and you are me".
Ruthless valley echoes it back, drifting her away from reality.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
??
When we lie,
We want truth..
When we envy,
We want peace..
When we ignore,
We want heed..
When we curse,
We want love..
Do we really know,
What we want..
We want truth..
When we envy,
We want peace..
When we ignore,
We want heed..
When we curse,
We want love..
Do we really know,
What we want..
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Spider
One spider on the ceiling
Running from one end to other
Stopping in midway
Sliding down fearlessly
Hanging...
Swinging to-and-fro
Climbing up..up to the top
Slowly silently
Doesn't have friends job money
Just, the shackle-less mind.
Running from one end to other
Stopping in midway
Sliding down fearlessly
Hanging...
Swinging to-and-fro
Climbing up..up to the top
Slowly silently
Doesn't have friends job money
Just, the shackle-less mind.
Zurrrrr
Lyrics are Zurrr Zurrr.....Zurrr....
He says i should sing ....his favorite song..
Who will tell him ....i cant sing...
He says i should sing ....his favorite song..
Who will tell him ....i cant sing...
0
1 2 3 4
Crows were flying
5 6 7 8
Crows were flying
9 10 11 12
Crows were flying
13 14 15 16
Now they are not.....
Crows were flying
5 6 7 8
Crows were flying
9 10 11 12
Crows were flying
13 14 15 16
Now they are not.....
My Friend
It was the window, just the window. But today I saw lot of sadness, emptiness. I never ever felt this way, looking out was always fun. It was never so empty. It was always the window of joy, friendship & pleasure. What was different today?.
I saw green trees, bus stop, school students, dogs and lot of buildings, Just the same.
Then what was bothering me so much? Ah! What was wrong?
And then I saw Ashoka tree.
Looked brown with no leaves.
He was my childhood. Me and my dida used to play around him. That time this place was row house with cute little garden. He used to stand in the corner and we used to play around. My dida used to say that corner is our home and the tree is shelter. We used to play for hours and hours around the tree even in the hot summer vacations. Bhatukli was the favorite game and the tree was dolls house indeed our home too.
We got our row house reconstructed in our adolescent time. We shifted to building from row house with no garden at all. Our garden was parking lot with almost no trees around. Some were cut and some died in harsh constructing days.
He was alone standing fighting for his life. Tucked in cement flooring but alive. Ones there were lot many roots around, me and dida used to tumble down but now it was all cemented plane surface.
I never liked him. He was never the part of my life. I actually remember me saying to my dad “…Wish we could cut down tree for extra parking place plus as it’s odd to see tree coming out from cement..”
I never cared about him rather I never loved him.
Then why he made me sad today?
May be it is what it is, the truth of sadness. The fact that someone touches our life without our knowledge.
When we see the lovely moon we forget the background which is making him blaze. We forget darkness we forget meaning of all the things. Do we really understand life? Can you name all the things that influenced you to be you? We learn we enjoy and very easily we forget.
That’s not our mistake. We have been taught like that. We have been taught to go behind the fame, blaze, super powers. We remember our teachers, parents, friends.
But do we remember trees, street dogs and stones.
We describe the best friend by how he was helpful in your good bad times.
But what about all these things whom we don’t call friends..
What about that breeze which passed around you when you were giggling with friends. What about that bench who has heard all your teen gossips and kept the secrets with no gain. What about small sparrow that use to eat with you when we were small. Supporting and asking nothing in return.
Just like my Ashoka tree. He was game partner to me when I was in kindergarten. He was schoolmate when I was in school. He was my buddy when I was in college. He was just standing there without asking anything. Showing love in silence.
And today i felt it for the first time. Now he is not there to hear me. But i want to say my dear friend "I love you". Thanks for being with me in sickness and health.
I saw green trees, bus stop, school students, dogs and lot of buildings, Just the same.
Then what was bothering me so much? Ah! What was wrong?
And then I saw Ashoka tree.
Looked brown with no leaves.
He was my childhood. Me and my dida used to play around him. That time this place was row house with cute little garden. He used to stand in the corner and we used to play around. My dida used to say that corner is our home and the tree is shelter. We used to play for hours and hours around the tree even in the hot summer vacations. Bhatukli was the favorite game and the tree was dolls house indeed our home too.
We got our row house reconstructed in our adolescent time. We shifted to building from row house with no garden at all. Our garden was parking lot with almost no trees around. Some were cut and some died in harsh constructing days.
He was alone standing fighting for his life. Tucked in cement flooring but alive. Ones there were lot many roots around, me and dida used to tumble down but now it was all cemented plane surface.
I never liked him. He was never the part of my life. I actually remember me saying to my dad “…Wish we could cut down tree for extra parking place plus as it’s odd to see tree coming out from cement..”
I never cared about him rather I never loved him.
Then why he made me sad today?
May be it is what it is, the truth of sadness. The fact that someone touches our life without our knowledge.
When we see the lovely moon we forget the background which is making him blaze. We forget darkness we forget meaning of all the things. Do we really understand life? Can you name all the things that influenced you to be you? We learn we enjoy and very easily we forget.
That’s not our mistake. We have been taught like that. We have been taught to go behind the fame, blaze, super powers. We remember our teachers, parents, friends.
But do we remember trees, street dogs and stones.
We describe the best friend by how he was helpful in your good bad times.
But what about all these things whom we don’t call friends..
What about that breeze which passed around you when you were giggling with friends. What about that bench who has heard all your teen gossips and kept the secrets with no gain. What about small sparrow that use to eat with you when we were small. Supporting and asking nothing in return.
Just like my Ashoka tree. He was game partner to me when I was in kindergarten. He was schoolmate when I was in school. He was my buddy when I was in college. He was just standing there without asking anything. Showing love in silence.
And today i felt it for the first time. Now he is not there to hear me. But i want to say my dear friend "I love you". Thanks for being with me in sickness and health.
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